Dear David Cameron,
Since we’re such good friends and you’ve always kept an eye out for me, I thought I should tell you, you’re acting like a bit of a plonker.
You see, only last night you posted a tweet decrying the Labour Party as the biggest threat to the Uk since, well.. since anything.
The Labour Party is now a threat to our national security, our economic security and your family's security.
— David Cameron (@David_Cameron) September 13, 2015
Look at that, now I know what you’re thinking and since we’re such good friends it doesn’t have to be said between us, it can be hard to effectively get your thoughts out when you only have 140 characters to do it, but this is why we have a press office, to deal with our public communication so we don’t have to, right?
But you know what? Just because someone takes a different stance on a topic to you doesn’t mean that they’re somehow antagonistic.
I know it can hard to understand, when for almost 18 years your opposition has essentially spouted the same views as yourself, just while wearing a red tie, but it is true.
You just have to understand, much of what made England great in the eyes of the world, our dependable public services, our top notch NHS and the way we take care of the weakest in our society, has been under threat recently.
Most recently, in fact, has been the changes Ian Duncan Smith has made to the DWP, you know I never liked that guy right? Those policies have led to the weak and disabled being unjustly demonised, caused undue stress and harm all in the name of matching a quota.
As we all know, this has result in people losing their lives, all because we forget that behind every statistical point is a person.
The sheer callous attitude of aspects of the current government seem like a bigger threat to my family than The Labour Party.
I mean, I’ve got an ill father who depends on medication just so his condition doesn’t deteriorate, and a friend who is disabled and requires support just so he can live as normal a life as you or I.
Both of these would suffer under your system of austerity.
A system in which we’re sold a line of all being in this together while your ministers can claim a breakfast of more value than they insist a person needs more per day to live.
You tell us that we have to tighten our belts, but it is never those at the top tightening, I mean sure you may only have three glasses of top shelf drink instead of four, but that’s nothing when you compare it to a family who have to decide between a budget meal plan or their children being able to see (a required objective for a child to do silly little things like study).
The thing is, in a modern society, as much as the soundbite is king it is just as easy for people to look up anything that they want, information can be shared across the country in minutes, and while you sit there and post off some soundbite about the opposition being a threat, we the people can see for ourselves that your ministers are still abusing the expenses system.
We can still see that our NHS is being killed in front of us, we can see everything you do and yet you want us to think that the other guy is the biggest threat?
Admittedly, I wish I were the guy who made a funny reply to your tweet and got shared around because intangible internet points really get me going, but I am not that guy.
I’m the person who wishes you knew why what you tweeted is nothing more than ludicrous, because if you knew that you might have a little more empathy for the concerns of the rest of us.
I’m that guy who doesn’t vote for a party, he votes for policies, votes on the behaviour of those who are running and your actions do not tell me that you have my best interests at heart, they do not tell me that you care for England or the English.
So let me give you a little piece of advice, since we’re such good friends.
Grow the fuck up.
I usually avoid political discourse, for frankly I feel politics should be like that mole on your backside, we all know it’s there but we change the topic when someone mentions it.
As such, take a look at these political adverts from Amazon!