Zombeavers (2014) – A Rather Spoiler-y Review

A mixture of Zombie and Monster film, when those Monsters are Beavers, we arrive at Zombeavers.
A film in which a group of rather uninteresting teens go to a lake and proceed to become the favourite food stuff for a colony of recently undead beavers.

The film opens with two guys driving a truck, a truck carrying barrels of who knows what, they hit an animal and one of the barrels come loose and ends up spraying all the poor little beavers living in a damn, this is typical start and I think has been a regular trope for at least thirty years now, so I won’t complain about it, but I will draw your attention to it later.

Right back to the teens, we start with three girls driving up to a cabin because one of them has a broken heart, having been sent a picture of her boyfriend kissing another girl.
No problems here, but when we see her texting her former boyfriend we see the messages are the first between the two devices, a very small annoyance but it does draw me out of the moment when I see something as obviously overlooked.
It’s like when you see those “top ten embarrassing text” lists floating on various websites, and some parent sends a message to their child which gets auto-corrected to something obscene, when it’s the first message between the two devices I find it hard to believe that the messages are real, the same applies here, you can easily generate a fake message chain to show history.

Now the girls get to the cabin, start drinking and having a good time (sans-cell signal) only for the guys (including heartbrokens ex) to arrive that night.
Which is just stupid as far as the plot is concerned, it makes no sense why the guys would follow the girls, as it undermines the friendship within the girls (one girl was in contact with the guys to get them to follow) and wouldn’t make the relationship any better for heartbroken girl and her ex.

Next the group all get attacked by a rabid beaver (oh noes!) and proceed to overpower it, throw it in a bag outside and forget about it.
They go swimming the next day and then get attacked by beavers!

Blah blah blah, everyone fights, there’s stress, the beavers act intelligently while also being amazingly dumb, people start turning into beavers and then the end.
Well, not the end, we have a survivor shambling along the road and in a scene to mirror the opening, gets hit by the exact same truck.
Which is another dumb point, as it shows that the driver didn’t get into trouble for losing a barrel of toxic goop and in general as a human being didn’t learn anything from the opening scene, it’s a weak joke to bring the film full circle.

Now I know it seems I complained about the film quite a bit there, I drew attention to everything that I disliked, but all in all I did actually enjoy it, there’s various bits wrong with the film I won’t lie (infection rate seems random with some people turning instantly, others after hours), and some scenes are inconsistent (beaver is stabbed through the head, only in next shot for the knife to move to his back) and the ending is just dense with one character turning without ever showing a scene of being bitten.
But despite this, the first thing I did on finishing the film was text a friend and suggest he watch it, it’s never going to be critically acclaimed but it is enjoyable.
If you’re a fan of bad monster films, give it a look and remember who sent you.

Oh and the Bees, oh the Bees.

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Silent

I am Silent, part time programmer and full time narcissist, gamer, geek and man on a mission.

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